When will I sing again
When will I draw again
When will I design again ...
Since when have my english become so bad ...
Since when have I been so broken, no balance
Since when have I been lost in all I want to and I must do
Since when have myself been lost in this society ... in Time, in Life?
I'd like to buy the world
I'd like to work as a...
superwoman, supergirl, superartist, and become super-rich, super-famous...
Thinking ... will I have this kind of luck?
Will I have the place I've always been wishing to get?
He told me not to think too much while there's no necessity,
He told me not to dream only while it's action that I need.
But what should I do? I'm still Lost.
And anger! eager! I hate this part of me.
There are hopes on me,
There are eyes on me... I can't fail, can't lose, can't break down
But I do.
Hmm ... my broken english ... as a paper-teared book.
What means fame? If it's to become tyrant...
What means wealth? If it's to make only unfairness...
... no the question of what life is, won't be asked ...
Cuz there's no need to put myself into melancholy on addition of labyrinth.
Should I walk with eyes blinded then?
Should I still be wondering what to do maybe?
Should I better follow advices leading me to my selfdestruction?
Or should I ... do nothing at all? .. No, the last solution is not one of the right one. So obvious.
Damn ~ what to do? how to do?
My ways are blocked.
No one's here to give me a hand... though my loves love, love is not enough to fight against the world.
Young here means poverty, sadness, no future, death ... But why? Young is life, the future!
It's a complicated society ... I don't understand you. And you can't imagine how many times I'd like to say it in front of you, to you : Oh fuck you !
But still you are old, you must be respected.
Eventhough I don't want to... cuz I want my future, & the world must change.
The future is in our hands. Yes the majority of this country's future, or more than that now, of this world, is in your HANDS! Youth!
If your future life = not rubbish, than fight for yourself !
And finally, I'm still confused... (sigh)
Diploma is just a paper meaning nothing at all... . But the society only takes a look on it instead of you.
It's a sad reality, but everybody is ok with that. Oh Shit ! YOU ARE OK, but NOT ME !!
All this just makes me SicK !
So, diploma or not? (what am I afraid of? Why don't I trust in myself?)
So, enough time to do all you have to do or not? (oh come on! I need to sleep! I'm not a robot!)
So, passion or not? (of course YES! I'm not here to praise that old shit system! I am Young ! I work for me and those who will follow behind me! I have also responsabilities, and I'm not going to do something I don't like, and do it naturally badly! So just let me do what I CAN DO!)
So, decision or not? ( ... not yet. Not enough sure to tell, if I'll be able to handle my future or not...)
And that's your problem.
[why so worry? why so scared? letting 'em prevent you from going on, rather than believe in your abilities? Fucking doubts! Where is myself?!]
- by GIRLDY
PHOTO by Raphael
RETOUCHEE by Girldy

